The Late-Night Waiter

Another Anecdote:

A friend and I were at a late night cafe and diner. After much deliberation, my friend ordered a chocolate chip cookie and a glass of milk, and I ordered a smoothie. Our waiter was pale and awkward. Fast forward twenty five minutes and another pale waiter with disheveled hair ran out, and placed two (warm) glasses in front of us, announcing, "a glass of milk and that other thing you ordered." We stared at him, and he made to leave, at which point my friend inquired as to his chocolate chip cookie. "Oh. I think we ran out of those. I'll check on it." That waiter then walked a couple of steps, chugged a can of coke, picked up his apron, and walked out the front door and into the night. After the shock (read: amusement) wore off, my friend flagged down a third waiter and once again inquired as to his chocolate chip cookie. "Oh. I sold the last one right over there about thirty minutes ago," that waiter proudly informed us. "That would have been useful information about twenty five minutes ago," my friend responded. "Yes, it would have," the waiter agreed. He then stared at us some more.  After further awkward conversation, my friend finally settled for coffeecake and we watched the rest of the night unfold with general bemusement. 

Working at night must be tough. Waiting in general is a very tiring, physically and mentally demanding job. Waiting tables at night is rough. It's usually done by people who also have a day job, or go to school, or have other daytime responsibilities. It's often done to supplement income and it can wear down just about anyone. Here's a closer look at what some of our pale, awkward, disheveled friends go through:

Annual Salary: The Occupational Outlook Handbook has limited-service employees making annual wages of about $18,010. I'm sure it also varies based on geographical location, minimum wage, whether the place serves alcohol, and whether or not they serve entrees.

Advantages: Clear and utter lack of supervision. Free Coca Cola. Tips. Food? Also, some websites out there say it's a good workout. I'm not in a position to confirm or deny these allegations. 

Disadvantages: Chatty customers. Drunk Customers. Customers. Memory loss re: cookie inventory. Walking around at night with lots of cash. Being tired.


Finally: I encountered a person once who claimed that waiting tables was good practice for trial lawyers. Waiters face complaints, they said, much like lawyers face clients. Waiters go between customers and the chef, and trial lawyers go between the client and the judge. The metaphor goes on, but I'll spare you. Metaphors like this make me (and probably all lawyers and waiters out there) want to die. 

The Trader Joe's Crew Member

I look forward to my weekly grocery shopping. Well. Maybe that’s an overstatement. I like running errands about as much as the next person. But I guess the fact that my grocery shopping is done at Trader Joe’s makes things just slightly less terrible. TJ’s is a wonderful place, full of delicious, exotic, quality foods at an affordable price. And, all of their employees exude a slightly off-beat, laid back charm, what with their Hawaiian shirts and “I-only-eat-organic” attitudes. With one particularly embarrassing exception involving a dispute over a box of ground meat, my mother’s acute sense of justice, and my youngest brother being posted as a lookout at the head of an aisle, all of my interactions with TJ’s employees have been very pleasant indeed.

Which led me to ponder what working at Trader Joe’s might be like, which led to some scavenging for information. Which led to the conclusion that working at TJ’s might be really awesome. Seriously, somebody hand me one of those oversized shirts.  Incidentally, there is also a pretty large collective of people who seem to spend their time starting blogs about how much they love Trader Joe’s. Google it.

Trader Joe’s fosters a very loyal workforce. They pay well, make health benefits available, take time choosing and screening potential additions to the team. They have a leadership development program, encourage their hires to multitask, and offer an employee discount. A closer look:

Salary: full time crew members this year get $40-60,000 a year. Store managers earn in the “low six figures,” according to Fortune. In addition, TJ’s contributes 15.4% of the employee’s salary to a company-funded retirement plan. Health insurance covers medical, dental, and vision.

Advantages:  The Hawaiian t-shirt. Being addressed as “dude.” Making bank. Eating fresh goat cheese salads and sipping acai juice for lunch. Getting away with being just slightly kooky. Knowing the difference between 20 types of apples. Ringing those bells that hang above the check stands.

Disadvantages: The Hawaiian t-shirt. Being addressed as "dude." Working for one of the most secretive companies on the planet. (I’m starting to think TJ’s might be a front for the NSA.) Being perceived as slightly off-beat. Dealing with actually offbeat and yuppie customers. General lack of "real" food. Finding out people are blogging about you. 

And Finally: Happy labor day to all of you out there laboring, searching for labor, or in labor!

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