This one comes with a personal anecdote. I was on a cross-country, seven hour flight once, and I was seated next to a young guy, who was sitting next to a young woman (who was sitting next to a window.) I was trying to read my contracts book, because I was missing several days of class and wanted to catch up. The two strangers next to me were having a heated discussion about the PowerPoint presentation that they were working on, making it clear to me (and the rest of the plane) that they were, in fact, academics. The guy tried to engage me in conversation several times, and when eventually I gave up on reading and turned my attention to him, I learned a little more about him and what he was doing.
He was a bat researcher. He was headed to a bat researcher conference. Apparently, there is this giant plague that is wiping out bats everywhere. It's actually kind of sad. I listened to him chat about it for a while, with the understanding that I wasn't going to be able to finish my reading until he got this off his chest. Then, he whipped out his iPhone and started showing me pictures of his bats. Gross. And then he informed me that he was so slammed with work that he had tons of bat blood samples sitting in his refrigerator at home, waiting for him to return.
At this point I was getting uncomfortable and turned back towards my book, only to be interrupted again. "Um?" I looked up at him. "Do you think maybe, when we both get back, you'd want to go out sometime?"
While bat boy and I never saw each other again, I did find his profession to be quite... unique.
Average Salary: This guy was in a graduate degree program for Animal Science. Specifically, Bat Science. So he was getting however much money the program stipend plus his research grant totaled. However, once he's a qualified animal scientist, according to my favorite source, the Bureau of Labor Statistics, he will be able to make an average of $64,510 dollars and he will be able to work in academia, scientific consulting, or other similarly vague fields.
Perks: You can probably say whatever you want about bats and people will just assume it's true. Your chances of getting on a nature channel special are greatly increased. You understand the science behind team Edward. You have a personal connection to Count Chocula. You can name your child Stellaluna. You keep Gotham city safe at night.
Disadvantages: Bat blood in your fridge.
SAVE THE BATS: there actually is this crazy bat disease going around. You can learn more and donate to save the bats, or learn how to build a bat habitat, or even adopt a bat, at Bat Conservation International
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
The Fireworks Technician
I don't think that I've ever stopped to think during a fireworks display about who took the time to pick out the colors, shapes, and combinations in the sky. Granted, I think about fireworks maybe twice a year. But that is someone's job, isn't it? To put together the displays? To think about the occasion, then put together something that'll dazzle the masses? Now thinking about it, it could be kind of fun. I am personally a huge fan of the sparkly white fireworks that look like fairy dust. If the fireworks show was up to me, I'd just do a half hour of fairy dust. People would hate me, but I'd be over the moon. Maybe it's good that I'm not in charge. Let's take a look at the people who actually have the expertise and creative talent to put this together:
Annual Salary: simplyhired.com says that fireworks technicians make an average salary of $49,000 a year. This apparently depends on company, location, industry, experience, and benefits. Keep in mind that I have no idea if simplyhired.com is a legitimate website. In fact, further searches show that you get about $500-$1,000 per show... So that's 49 shows a year if you're getting paid top dollar, which averages out to about a show a week. I don't know simplyhired.com, I just don't know.
Perks: I mean, you put on fireworks shows. That's pretty cool. QED. You're licensed to deal with gun powder. You have a great answer at parties to the whole, "what do you do?" question.
Disadvantages: It's dangerous!!! All you fireworks technicians out there, be safe! Also you probably have high premiums on your insurance costs, and you're going to be perpetually dissatisfied with the local neighborhood fireworks displays.
A Query: This whole thing makes me wonder, how much of a need is there for fireworks technicians? I mean, July 4th, New Year's Eve.... and if you're the guy who works every night for Disneyland, you've pretty much hit the fireworks career jackpot. I know that one of my brothers had fireworks at his Bar Mitzvah... but it was a family friend who is a pyrotechnician on the side. Hm.
Annual Salary: simplyhired.com says that fireworks technicians make an average salary of $49,000 a year. This apparently depends on company, location, industry, experience, and benefits. Keep in mind that I have no idea if simplyhired.com is a legitimate website. In fact, further searches show that you get about $500-$1,000 per show... So that's 49 shows a year if you're getting paid top dollar, which averages out to about a show a week. I don't know simplyhired.com, I just don't know.
Perks: I mean, you put on fireworks shows. That's pretty cool. QED. You're licensed to deal with gun powder. You have a great answer at parties to the whole, "what do you do?" question.
Disadvantages: It's dangerous!!! All you fireworks technicians out there, be safe! Also you probably have high premiums on your insurance costs, and you're going to be perpetually dissatisfied with the local neighborhood fireworks displays.
A Query: This whole thing makes me wonder, how much of a need is there for fireworks technicians? I mean, July 4th, New Year's Eve.... and if you're the guy who works every night for Disneyland, you've pretty much hit the fireworks career jackpot. I know that one of my brothers had fireworks at his Bar Mitzvah... but it was a family friend who is a pyrotechnician on the side. Hm.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
The Paparazzi
Is there any way to address this profession without bringing Lady Gaga into it? I mean, I suppose I could have left her out.. but come on. At the very least, the aim of this post is to get that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day. Still, an interesting job, right? These here are the people who feed the celebrity hysteria in our nation, who start scandals and change (read: ruin) lives with their ridiculously irritating and privacy intruding ways, who make us want to die but whom we could not live without.
In all fairness, Paparazzi are photojournalists, which is a much more respectable title for their job. It just so happens that they're photojournalists whose entire career consists of stalking celebrities until they're compromised in some way, and then to snap a picture. So, another title for their job could be creepers. Or private investigators... for TMZ. But we all buy their product, don't we?
In reality, this job requires tons of patience and skill. These people need to build their connections, they need to get the right ins with celebrities or their staff, and with magazines/websites. They need to have the eye and the skill to capture the shot, often in a jostling crowd or from an odd vantage point. And, they need to get to the scene fast.
A closer look at the job:
Annual Salary: According to the Life of the Paparazzi blog, paparazzi earn about $250 per shot of an A-list celebrity. These are the typical shots of them walking around with groceries, often seen in the Star Tracks pages in magazines, with captions saying something like, "Stars do things we do too! They take out the garbage!" and involve pictures of Jennifer Aniston, in shades and a hat that scream "I'm famous" emptying out her recycling bin. The more established Paparazzi can make up to $500,000 a year - but that usually involves years of building up connections and the expenses that come with getting there.
Perks: You get to see some cool people. You get to be at some cool events. You get to build cool (and slightly sketchy) connections with doormen, hairdressers, and manicurists all over town.You're a free agent and you sell your pictures to the highest bidder.
Disadvantages: The job is highly competitive. When Jen's emptying that recycling bin, there are usually fifteen other photographers there taking the same picture you are taking. You have to spend a lot of time hunting down the celebrities. You killed Lady Di. The pictures that make you the most money may get you sued... and then you'll need to hire people like me.
An Observation: Has anyone else noticed that Lady Gaga's songs make ZERO sense?
Shadow is burnt/Yellow dance and return/ My lashes are dry / Purple teardrops I cry/ It don't have a price/ Loving you is cherry pie / Cause you know that baby I / I'm your biggest fan I'll follow you until you love me/ Papa-paparazzi....
...WHAT?
In all fairness, Paparazzi are photojournalists, which is a much more respectable title for their job. It just so happens that they're photojournalists whose entire career consists of stalking celebrities until they're compromised in some way, and then to snap a picture. So, another title for their job could be creepers. Or private investigators... for TMZ. But we all buy their product, don't we?
In reality, this job requires tons of patience and skill. These people need to build their connections, they need to get the right ins with celebrities or their staff, and with magazines/websites. They need to have the eye and the skill to capture the shot, often in a jostling crowd or from an odd vantage point. And, they need to get to the scene fast.
A closer look at the job:
Annual Salary: According to the Life of the Paparazzi blog, paparazzi earn about $250 per shot of an A-list celebrity. These are the typical shots of them walking around with groceries, often seen in the Star Tracks pages in magazines, with captions saying something like, "Stars do things we do too! They take out the garbage!" and involve pictures of Jennifer Aniston, in shades and a hat that scream "I'm famous" emptying out her recycling bin. The more established Paparazzi can make up to $500,000 a year - but that usually involves years of building up connections and the expenses that come with getting there.
Perks: You get to see some cool people. You get to be at some cool events. You get to build cool (and slightly sketchy) connections with doormen, hairdressers, and manicurists all over town.You're a free agent and you sell your pictures to the highest bidder.
Disadvantages: The job is highly competitive. When Jen's emptying that recycling bin, there are usually fifteen other photographers there taking the same picture you are taking. You have to spend a lot of time hunting down the celebrities. You killed Lady Di. The pictures that make you the most money may get you sued... and then you'll need to hire people like me.
An Observation: Has anyone else noticed that Lady Gaga's songs make ZERO sense?
Shadow is burnt/Yellow dance and return/ My lashes are dry / Purple teardrops I cry/ It don't have a price/ Loving you is cherry pie / Cause you know that baby I / I'm your biggest fan I'll follow you until you love me/ Papa-paparazzi....
...WHAT?
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The Clue Crew
I have gotten so many requests for this post that I couldn't put it off any longer. Here it is, by popular demand. I am also not able to comment about this job with snark... because it's actually the best job ever and I'll just come off as bitter... because I am. If you're in my field, you probably think "the best job ever" belongs to Elana Kagan (mazeltov, you're confirmed!), or to the partners at Cravath, or maybe even to the editors of ATL. But you're wrong. The best job actually currently belongs to three mostly unknown individuals. I say mostly because you've probably seen them around while flipping through channels, or running at the gym during a bad TV hour. I'm referring, of course, to Jeopardy!'s Clue Crew.
What is this Clue Crew and what is it they do? The Clue Crew are three extremely photogenic individuals that get to travel all around the world to film Jeopardy!'s clues - 20 to 60 second video segments of them reading the clue out loud, usually at a location that helps contestants guess at the answer, usually while doing an activity that would help contestants guess at the answer. In order to bring these life-like experiences straight to our living rooms (or gyms), the Clue Crew has traveled to over 200 cities worldwide, through 45 states, and to 25 countries. And when they're done filming their 20 seconds about bananas in Ecuador, they get to STAY in Ecuador. At least until their flight out. So basically, they get paid vacations to everywhere cool, so long as they can smile at the camera, string together two sentences about some obscure topic, and peel a banana.
Best. Job. Ever.
Alright - enough drooling - lets look at the facts:
Annual Salary: A little hard to tell - it's not exactly readily available on Jeopardy!'s website, but the Bureau of Labor and Statistic's Occupational Outlook Handbook says that the median annual wages of TV reporters and correspondents were $34,850 in May of 2008. The middle 50 percent earned between $25,760 and $52,160. Granted, that was then, and this is now, but let's say that it's somewhere in there.
Perks: Where to start? Paid trips to all over the world (their photo gallery online has them in Japan, London, Spain, and Peru to name a few). Cool experiences almost no one ever gets to have (the cosmonaut center in Russia, on board the National Geographic Endeavour,) being on Jeopardy!!!
Disadvantages: lots of traveling probably means not as much time home with friends/family. might also be difficult to have a relationship. This is all speculation.
A Special Message:
Sorry to rain on your parade, Elana. I know this was supposed to be a special day for you.
Go Here For:
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The Matchmaker
There is a proud tradition of Jewish lawyers. There is also a proud tradition of Jewish matchmakers: Louis Brandeis, Aharon Barak, Yente, Patti Stanger. Same thing. In today's world of online dating, it seems like this profession might be losing whatever ground it had left - fast. I say 'seems like' because the truth is that this profession will never become obsolete. As long as there are people out there wanting to be matched, there will be matchmakers. Case in point: the Millionaire Matchmaker, the scary TV show on Bravo with the scary lady who matches obnoxious millionaires with unwitting partners. There are also dating websites that employ matchmakers to link together profiles after they're made. I needed to learn more about this job. Google was once again very helpful, and I quickly learned that there is in fact a Matchmaking Institute - courses online, based in New York, with at least one outpost in Singapore. It also helped me find out about some of the highlights of the job:
Annual Salary: Depends. This is a "growing" industry and there is definitely earning potential here, but it comes with all the risks of starting your own business, not to mention money if you go through a program with a startup kit and tuition costs. However, you charge clients for inclusion in the database, for the annual contracts, and of course for the services of actually matching them. It is well known that with prudence and skill, this job can turn into a six figure income.
Perks: The Institute suggests that this job will allow me to become the "bell [sic] of the ball." I don't know if that's what I had in mind when I think about the life of the party, but they seem pretty sure. It is also, apparently, "never boring" (or my money back?), and it is "now, finally, recognized as a legitimate and respectable field," which is truly confidence inspiring. Other advantages include high potential earnings, a flexible schedule, and of course, being your own boss. And, the satisfaction of knowing that you helped your clients find true happiness. There's always that.
Disadvantages: Wikipedia has an allusion to 'busybodies' under their entry about matchmaking. It is also something Jewish moms do in their sleep. Clients may be just plain difficult. If a date doesn't work out, it may reflect poorly on you instead of on them. There are the obvious risks of starting a business. The profession demands long, unconventional hours and tons of patience.
The Bottom Line: I think the Institute says it best: Matchmaking "combines a little dash of networking, a pinch of social work, and a whole cup of playing cupid." In other words, it's warm and fuzzy, just like law school.
Annual Salary: Depends. This is a "growing" industry and there is definitely earning potential here, but it comes with all the risks of starting your own business, not to mention money if you go through a program with a startup kit and tuition costs. However, you charge clients for inclusion in the database, for the annual contracts, and of course for the services of actually matching them. It is well known that with prudence and skill, this job can turn into a six figure income.
Perks: The Institute suggests that this job will allow me to become the "bell [sic] of the ball." I don't know if that's what I had in mind when I think about the life of the party, but they seem pretty sure. It is also, apparently, "never boring" (or my money back?), and it is "now, finally, recognized as a legitimate and respectable field," which is truly confidence inspiring. Other advantages include high potential earnings, a flexible schedule, and of course, being your own boss. And, the satisfaction of knowing that you helped your clients find true happiness. There's always that.
Disadvantages: Wikipedia has an allusion to 'busybodies' under their entry about matchmaking. It is also something Jewish moms do in their sleep. Clients may be just plain difficult. If a date doesn't work out, it may reflect poorly on you instead of on them. There are the obvious risks of starting a business. The profession demands long, unconventional hours and tons of patience.
The Bottom Line: I think the Institute says it best: Matchmaking "combines a little dash of networking, a pinch of social work, and a whole cup of playing cupid." In other words, it's warm and fuzzy, just like law school.
The Beefalo Farmer
While talking with my boss at my firm last week, he brought up that he had spent the weekend at a friend's beefalo farm. "Beefalo?" I asked, "Is that what it sounds like?" Turns out it is. A breed between a cow and a buffalo, these are best described as 'gangster cows.' They're a tough looking bunch. So - what is the life of a Beefalo farmer like? The American Beefalo Association (no joke - they exist) provided some insight:
Annual Salary: Varies - livestock farmers' salaries depend a lot on the size of their farm and many other conditions including weather, employee compensation, and the cost of insurance. Many farmers receive government subsidies to offset the risks (I feel like a joke about the Stafford loan may be appropriate here).
Perks of the Job: being your own boss. Most people do not have the pleasure. You also get to work outside, rather than in an office or cubicle. No need to wear impractical wool suits in hot weather. Additionally, the American Beefalo Association basically has me convinced that Beefalo are one of the best inventions of the twenty first century. Right along with the vacuum cleaner. They're a very sturdy animal, thus lower costs for upkeep and healthcare. They have a long lifespan. They're very fertile. They're good at gaining weight (read: more meat = more money.) There was also a whole section about the ease of calving that I won't even get into. I kind of want a pet Beefalo now. Or maybe I'll just buy the Beefalo hat, also available on their site.
Disadvantages: Since they're bigger, beefalo probably don't lend themselves to cow tipping quite as well. The work is physically strenuous. You have to be outside working in all types of weather. Complying with state health and grazing regulations. Worrying about mad cow (mad beefalo?). Scary bugs.
Similarities to Law School: Regardless of whether I pursue a law degree or a Beefalo farm, I will still be a member of the ABA.
Annual Salary: Varies - livestock farmers' salaries depend a lot on the size of their farm and many other conditions including weather, employee compensation, and the cost of insurance. Many farmers receive government subsidies to offset the risks (I feel like a joke about the Stafford loan may be appropriate here).
Perks of the Job: being your own boss. Most people do not have the pleasure. You also get to work outside, rather than in an office or cubicle. No need to wear impractical wool suits in hot weather. Additionally, the American Beefalo Association basically has me convinced that Beefalo are one of the best inventions of the twenty first century. Right along with the vacuum cleaner. They're a very sturdy animal, thus lower costs for upkeep and healthcare. They have a long lifespan. They're very fertile. They're good at gaining weight (read: more meat = more money.) There was also a whole section about the ease of calving that I won't even get into. I kind of want a pet Beefalo now. Or maybe I'll just buy the Beefalo hat, also available on their site.
Disadvantages: Since they're bigger, beefalo probably don't lend themselves to cow tipping quite as well. The work is physically strenuous. You have to be outside working in all types of weather. Complying with state health and grazing regulations. Worrying about mad cow (mad beefalo?). Scary bugs.
Similarities to Law School: Regardless of whether I pursue a law degree or a Beefalo farm, I will still be a member of the ABA.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Case Summary
In many ways, law students are simply overgrown children. We yell, we cry, there are times that we don't bathe until someone finally tells us to do so, we take naps at odd hours of the day, we tire ourselves out by talking about ourselves, which then requires more napping. We're also suddenly fascinated with the future. We have visions for ourselves and for what we may be in a few years. Often, along the way, we try on different imaginary hats to see what might-have-been. Many times while sitting in the cafeteria or the library, I hear a colleague exclaim, "I should become a ______!" This statement, true to our chosen profession, inevitably leads to a short discussion about the chosen career path, with some friends advocating the job's advantages, while others discuss the drawbacks of said career. I suddenly felt the need to catalogue these professions. Some are mundane, others truly fanciful, and all are completely eccentric for any grad student that is tens of thousands of dollars in the hole. We're committed to our profession - at least for now - but it's good to know what else is out there.
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