As I walk to work in my suit, I am just one more dark blur in a sea of dark, sweaty, suit-clad blurs hurrying along the steamy sidewalk. I dart around the subway grates (heel traps – rookie mistake) and individuals so absorbed in their Blackberry/iPhone/Droid that they fail to realize that they are stemming the flow of the foot traffic. This is my morning commute. And I can’t help but wish I was somewhere else. Like on a river. Working in the sunshine, breathing clean air, wearing the proper attire, maybe lifting some boats, maybe rafting down some whitewater while the greenery rushes by. From my point of view – that would actually be the best summer job ever.
Being from the great state of Oregon, I have actually met many river guides over the course of many whitewater rafting trips. And I have found that they are almost unanimously college grads who chose a different career path – either immediately or after trying their hand at a more traditional career. They are also very attractive, quick on their feet, and have great people skills. Here is a look at what they face, day-in and day-out:
Salary: River guides, according to the Oregon River Experiences River Guide School materials, make anywhere from $75 to $150 a day at ORE, based on seniority. It also states that industry pay scales range from $45-$150 a day – not including tips. Qualifications include enthusiasm, a solid work ethic, and knowing how to swim is probably a good idea.
Advantages: You get to take classes with names like “reading water” and “knot tying.” You get to be tan and muscle-y without paying for an over-expensive gym membership. You get to ride awesome rapids. You make other awesome and similarly sun-browned, attractive, muscle-y friends and ride awesome rapids with them. You probably get to make a lot of campfire s’mores, but that’s pure conjecture and daydream on my part. You give your visitors a great, memorable experience – you also get to teach them about survival without a smart-phone. You get first dibs on the 'good' lifejackets - you know, the cool-looking, less bulky ones? You know what lies “just around the riverbend” and you can “dance with all the colors of the wind.”
Downsides: Mosquitoes, Bees, Wasps, Spiders. Rope burn. Uncomfortable life jackets. Obnoxious clients. Drunk clients. Flipping over and risk of drowning. Piranhas. Lightning. Not getting to wear sweaty wool suits on hot days – oh the disappointment.
(Note: My friend suggested Loch Ness Monster as a negative, but we all know Nessy is a big huge plus-side to becoming a river guide)
